I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Your cock deserves a montage
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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