I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
