please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
