All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
