I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
