i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i drank out of a bidet.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
