I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
