she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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