The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
