I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
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we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize