Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Are my feet made of real feet?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
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Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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