So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
