i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
