i don't like sucking hair
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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