just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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