12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
