somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
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I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
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WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize