You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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