great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
