fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
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No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
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the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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