He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize