I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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