So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
