THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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