First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
