You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize