man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
