I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
