She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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