swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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