Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
