You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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