Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
