It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
