Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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