You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
