you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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