I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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