Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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