The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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