I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
