dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
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