don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize
