I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
