i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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