dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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