I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You've changed since you got that strap on
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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