ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
