end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
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No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
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i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
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