WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
