She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
