i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I smell like Dick and happiness
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