Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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