so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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