you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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