Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
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EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
And then he peed in my hair
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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