the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
