Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize