I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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