I think I am morally bankrupt
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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